Dictionary Definition of Resilient – able to return to normal shape after stretching. And boy, what a stretch separation and divorce can be. If the only thing you want to dissolve is your relationship, then resilience is key.
Resilience may sound like a tough, emotion-free word. However, when it comes to our emotions during divorce, we are often unruly and chaotic. So many questions, feelings and perceptions come into the mix. What we thought we knew about ourselves, or the other person is often thrown up into the air, only to come crashing down in fragments we barely recognise. Resilience is about building the internal support mechanisms and strength of character to enable you to move through the situation with the least amount of emotional chaos as possible, regardless of what is going on around you.
If you think of it as a selfish act, then I say go ahead and be selfish. If your emotional health and wellbeing are not at the top of your priority list, then you are in for an almighty fall. Maybe not now, while the adrenalin of divorce papers and house sales are whirling round your body, but when the dust has finally settled, who will you be then? What will you have left to give?
How do I remain resilient?
Firstly, you have to decide that above all else, your emotional, and physical strength will be your top priority. When you are resilient you can achieve more, and enable you to be there for all those around you who may not have the same presence of mind as you, including of course any children that may be involved.
One proven way of building emotional resilience, is to practice The Quick Coherence Technique®, as taught by HeartMath, a not-for- profit organisation in the US. Its a very simple breathing technique that will take you a couple of minutes to do. Yes, its really that simple! For years, HeartMath have studied the human heart in relation to the mind. They have reams of scientific evidence that resilience is the key to physical and emotional health. Go to their website and access their FREE Quick Coherence Technique®, at: http://www.heartmath.org/free-services/tools-for-well-being/quick-coherence-adult.html. They also provide this information in the form of an MP3 audio file if you prefer.
You can also access The Quick Coherence Technique®,espeically for teens here: http://www.heartmath.org/free-services/tools-for-well-being/quick-coherence-age-12-to-18.html
Also, for a great top 20 list of really practical, and emotional tips about surviving divorce may I suggest you visit:
Finally, if you are about to be, or are in the throws of divorce or separation and would like some confidential 1-2-1 support, or if you want to achieve some clarity about what you might want in your life after divorce, then I’d be happy to provide you with telephone or face to face coaching.
Contact Sandra at Swan Coaching Tel: 01582 413013 or email firstname.lastname@example.org