I was recently inspired to ask the above question after reading an article entitled The Best Definition of Success, by Jeff Haden – which described how one way to define success was to be able to answer ‘yes’ to the question ‘Am I happy?’.
The question of success and its relation to personal happiness is nearly always discussed during my consultations with mid-life career changers. By their mid forties / early fifties many of my clients have achieved outstanding career ‘success’. Their career trajectory has by all intents and purposes shot from A – Z with very little deviation. They are held in high regard by their colleagues, and many have families who have remained by their side during their rise to the top. Yet, they are in my consulting room because at the end of it all, they are downright unhappy.
The focus of my sessions with many of these clients usually begins around finding the answer to the question, ‘what will make me happy?’.
You may presume that once my clients have the answer, or answers, to that all important question, the rest would fall into place. Not so. For many, the next part of their journey presents the biggest challenge. Believing they are worthy of happiness, and that compromises don’t always have to be made in order to achieve happiness. And that yes, they can have personal success alongside career success!
The focus of this blog is not about your worthiness (I believe you are by the way). My next blog will focus on that particular nugget.
This blog is about the fact that so many of us have bought into the mindset that we cannot have both. To undo this belief takes quite a bit of unravelling.
So, Can You Really Have it All?
I believe you can. But the important question is not what I believe, but what you believe. Goethe said “If I accept you as you are, I will make you worse; however if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that”. This is basis on which I coach. Ultimately however, the only person who can take you to where you want to be is you.
To clarify, I believe that you will get what you believe you can have.
So, what needs to happen in order for you to unravel that core belief that you can’t have both? (Because no matter how much you may resist this statement, there’s probably a small part of you that believes its true. I know, I’ve been there.)
Six Tips to Help You Believe You Can Have Career and Personal Success:
1) Surround yourself with people who believe you can have both.
2) Surround yourself with people who believe they can have both.
3) Surround yourself with people who DO have both.
4) Listen to, and learn from all these people, especially the people at number 3!
5) Get help to unravel your limiting beliefs. There are lots of methodologies out there including NLP and EFT. These are the methods I use, and I can highly recommend them especially if you want a speedy result.
6) Read about people who you admire, and in your eyes, who have it all. I like reading about business leaders such as Richard Branson, and people who have shared their own secrets to happiness such as Viktor Frankl and Helen Keller. I also enjoy wisdom based teachings, of which there are too many to list here (feel free to get in touch and I’ll happily recommend my personal favourites).
Yes, I believe you can have both, but do you? If you don’t and you feel you are limiting yourself, then I invite you to consider doing some work. If you’re interested in working with me, please make contact and I’ll be delighted to help.