There’s no doubt that being on an emotional rollercoaster is part of the territory for business owners. The good news is that there are things you can do to feel less dizzy, more calm and in control. Its the feeling of being out of control that creates stress, and over a period of time you could pay a hefty price, either in terms of your health and wellbeing, or your relationships. It is never too late to get back in control, so here are my top 4 tips to help you navigate the rollercoaster of business life.
Tip 1) Ask for help
Reaching for courage is the first step towards healing.
There aren’t many people, myself included, who can easily ask for help. We think of it as a weakness because for centuries our culture has identified vulnerability with shame. Brene Brown observed in her thoughtfully researched book ‘Daring Greatly’, that these two aspects of the human experience are two of the toughest emotions to handle, and two of the least talked about.
If you think about the last time you felt shame, you’ll notice how you tense and recoil. When we’re feeling constricted, the last thing we want to do is open up. Our instinct is to protect that vulnerability by closing down and going inward.
We need to reach out and be seen in our pain. Only then we can be helped.
I truly learned the healing impact of opening up and reaching out 2 years ago. I belonged to a Mastermind Coaching group and these like-minded, heart centred entrepreneurs were the perfect people to practice being vulnerable with.
I noticed that sharing my vulnerability made it ok for them to do the same. I realised that no matter how I was feeling, someone within that small group was, at some level, was feeling the same way. Knowing I wasn’t alone made my feelings more acceptable to me. Being able to embrace these feelings with a sense of love and compassion rather than shame and revulsion enabled me to be with them and reduced their intensity. Sometimes even the most intense feelings would just fizzle away with no further intervention.
I invite you to find a trusted person, or group of people who you can share and be vulnerable with, and ask for help. I promise you that if you do this, your courage will reward you.
Tip 2) Build resilience into your life
Learning resilience helps us be with the lows. The lows are emotionally tough, and our tendency is to hide from them, and play the avoidance game. Instead we use any number of methods to help us avoid, such as food, alcohol, drugs, sex, TV and work to name the most commonly used. But these don’t help. In fact, they often make things worse.
I have found these 4 practices are great for building resilience.
Look for things that are working in your life, your work, your family etc, and consciously bring to mind how much you appreciate having them in your life. Visit my free resources for ways to help you do this.
If practiced regularly, meditation can help calm the mind, and help you enjoy less stress and a good nights sleep without the need for medication. If you’d like to know more about my free Monday morning meditation via the comfort of your pc or phone, contact me with your email address and I’ll send you the dial in details.
Relaxation can come in many forms, you might think of it as time with friends, a tai chi class or time out to read a book. Whatever form it takes for you, make time for it. You are a human being, not a human doing!
- Self compassion
When things aren’t going well its easy to think negative thoughts, not only about the situation but about yourself. Studying NLP back in 2000 taught me two valuable presuppositions and have been part of my belief system ever since.
1) We are all doing the best we can, with the resources we have.
2) There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
In other words be kind to yourself
Tip 3) Reflect on the Wins
Taking time to reflect on the wins will help you remember there is more balance in your life than you might think. It helps keep our problems in perspective. If we spend more time thinking about what went wrong than right, your perception will be skewed.
Be mindful of where you place your attention.
You don’t have to roll out the red carpet every time you achieve a win. This is more of a personal acknowledgement to yourself about what has gone well. Here’s what works for me. Each year I choose a really nice notebook and label 12 pages with each month of the year. At the end of every month, I write down the things that I would like to remember that went well. They’re not all about my work. I include special things that have happened in my life as a whole. If you prefer, you could make a spreadsheet, or keep a note on your phone.
Do whatever will easily fit into your life, making it something you’ll enjoy, rather than another job to do. To give you an idea of where to start, here are some things I’m celebrating this month:
- Being asked to present to a networking group
- Getting some jobs done around the house (and finding a reliable roofer and plumber to help)
- Having a positive conversation about a potential new venture
- new clients, and returning ‘old’ ones
- Having 4 Christmas meals lined up
- Seeing a couple of friends I haven’t seen for a while
- Giving myself time for personal development
- Healing a relationship that was causing me discomfort
The act of thinking about these ‘wins’ has put me in a better frame of mind than I was when I first started writing this article!
Tip 4) Ride on the Back of Your Highs!
Being on a high is the best time to attract new clients. If you’re feeling good, and you’re business is going well this is the best time to do your marketing. The challenge is that its probably your busiest time, but if you can make the most of those good vibes you’ve got going on, you will reap the rewards.
People buy people and if you’ve got a positive feeling energy around you, you are more attractive.
Use that positive energy because its inspiring. Who wouldn’t want some of that?
I happened to be in a really positive place on the day I had a session booked with a marketer. She encouraged me to write my About page that same day, so that I could more easily capture that positive emotional state in my writing. A couple of my clients have mentioned my About page when I’ve asked them what made them buy my services. You might like to hop over and see what you think!
If you would benefit from some time to chat through how to manage your highs and lows, or if you think I could be your trusted supporter, please contact me and we can arrange a free chat.